Rules and Tonsils

Before I move out of Deb's house, I have to tell you a one thing that I've left out. I kept getting sore throats. I would get better and a couple weeks later I'd have another one. I attributed it to being in close proximity to children every day. Kids are the carriers. My doctor asked me finally, have I always had this problem? I think about it for a few seconds, and say well now that you ask, yes, I guess I've always had a problem with my throat. I think it might be from smoking. He says, I don't know, smoking may aggravate it but your tonsils are real bad. They should come out.

Have my tonsils out? Really? I'm almost 27 years old, how could I possibly need my tonsils out. He says, dear, you really should have had them out years ago. I called my mom and discussed this with her. Hey mom, I have my wisdom teeth pulled out and my knee fixed, all under your watch. How did you miss my tonsils? She informs me that our doctor had jumped on the "let's leave the tonsils in" bandwagon. She assures me that she tried to have my tonsils out years ago.

I have great benefits at Girl's Club, so this surgery would be covered by insurance and sick pay. My surgery was scheduled. I'm told to not have anything to eat or drink after midnight. Steve and I had gone to Boot Hill the night before my surgery. We drank and danced all night long, until midnight. Heavy drinking. I wake up at 5 am, Deb takes me to the hospital and drops me off. I was there for 4 hours, waiting for them to decide what to do with my alcohol saturated self. What they decided was to send my drunk ass home. They didn't want to risk killing me with anesthesia since I was so obviously still intoxicated. Deb wasn't home, so I called Steve to come and get me.

The surgery was rescheduled and I had to go in the night before. I was not to be trusted to stay home, so they kept me prisoner the night before for safety reasons. I was wheeled down to the operating room. I woke up in recovery with the worst sore throat that I have ever experienced. And my ears might have hurt worse than my throat. Oh God, why did I do this was my first thought. My second thought was, hey I know that kid over there. I looked at one of the nurses and whispered, is he ok? Nothing serious I hope. She assured me he would be fine, he had his tonsils out too! Well, now that was pretty damn funny, I would have laughed but I know that would hurt, so I just smiled and went back to sleep.

I woke up in my room. With pain that was unbearable. The doctor comes in to check me out. He said that once he got my tonsils out he knew for sure he had made the right decision. They were quite ugly. I looked at him and said, "Wouldn't it have been easier to remove them from my mouth instead of my ears?" Because seriously, my ears really hurt. He assured me he removed them from my mouth, but all of that stuff in your head is related, so the ears are naturally going to hurt for a while. He also assured me that I would start feeling better rather quickly. Soft foods and ice cream, popsicles are highly recommended. And he sends me home.

Deb, not being a mom, or a rational human being, didn't have anything soft in the house. So, I made some toast. There was quite a bit of blood, pain, and barfing. I called Steve, who still lived next door and asked him to come over; I might be bleeding to death. He gladly came over to analyze the situation, also bringing ice cream. It looked like it was easing up some, but we called the doctor to see what should be done. He told me that eating toast was probably a bad idea, please don't eat any for about a week. If the bleeding gets worse, go to emergency. I was supposed to be able go back to work in two days. Well that toast stunt kept me home for nearly a week. Upon my return to work, I discovered that kid from the recovery room had come back to the Girls Club two days after I saw him at the hospital. I'm willing to bet his mother didn't give him toast. The moral of the story is: If your kid has a lot of sore throats, have the tonsils removed on your watch. It's way harder when you're an adult. Oh yeah, and don't go out and drink like a fish the night before surgery! I guess that's a rule.