January 1, 1988

I have our Michael Stanley tickets. Dad is in the hospital. I'm thinking that it's around December 28. Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what day it was. Susan and current husband had front row seats for this Michael Stanley concert, George and I were in the nose-bleed section. I'm excited to see him after being gone so many years.

I come home to the mess with dad. He is in the hospital, so after Mikey calmed down enough to go home, Johnny and I went up to see dad. We found him in his room, IV and catheter inserted. Dad was pretty freaked out. I told him that if I knew he was going to go blind, I would have never left him. Dad has never had a catheter and he wasn't liking it too much. I'm thinking that must be a guy thing, because I've had them and they aren't that bad. He kept pulling it out. He kept messing with the IV.

I called Janet to let her know that her brother was in the hospital. Mikey's mom already knew, but I called her to make sure Mikey was ok and gave her an update. I didn't have anything new to tell her.

The nurses told me that if dad didn't calm down and quit ripping out his tubes they were going to have to restrain him. I explained to them that he was scared and they shouldn't be very mean to him. I asked the doctor to reconsider the restraints, and possibly just give him something for anxiety. They still restrained him, which completely freaked dad out, even though he was already pretty freaked.

They also gave him something for anxiety to calm him down. He would slip in and out of consciousness, perhaps from the illness or perhaps from the medication. I figured that he could use the rest, sleep was good.

Janet came up to the hospital the next day and offered to take Johnny home with her, so I could spend more time at the hospital. I didn't think Johnny needed to be up there to witness all of what was going on, so I let him go. I told them that I would pack some clothes for Johnny and bring them over in the morning on the way to the hospital. I packed him some clothes to get him through New Year's. I was thinking, mom always stayed in the hospital for about a week, recovered, and was released. I was working with that theory for dad.

I spent the next couple days up at the hospital. New Year's Eve, I was there all day and left at 8pm when visiting hours were over. Dad was holding his own, but not really improving, but not declining either. I went out to a local haunt, just so I wouldn't be so alone on New Year's Eve. I had a pretty crappy time, ran into Mike S, one of Frank's friends and ended up bringing him home with me to mom's.

The phone is ringing, waking us up. I answered thinking, who in their right mind would call someone on New Year's Day at 7am? It's a nurse at the hospital, advising that dad has taken a turn for the worse, I should get up there immediately. I'm thinking, God, I'm glad I came home last night. I almost stayed at Mike's. I showered, dressed, called my sister. I asked Susan to call those that needed to be called. I tell her that she should tell them to get up to the hospital. I took Mike home and went to the hospital.

I was horrified to walk in that room. He was doing the gasping thing that mom had done. The nurses informed me that it was just a matter of time. So I pulled the chair over to the side of his bed, and sat there, talking to him, holding his hand. Dad died before anyone else got there. I sat there for a while before even calling the nurse, just sat there. I was stunned. I never dreamed that he would go so quickly.

I called Janet and told her what had happened and asked her to not say anything to Johnny. I would come and talk to him and bring him home. How am I going to tell this kid that his dad died too? Eight weeks since mom died.